2014-09-13 05.50.56

Are we there yet?

Ray Kurzweil is the inventor of the flatbed scanner and electronic keyboard instruments, cofounder of Singularity University, director of engineering at Google, and futurist.

Here is Kurzweil’s recent summary of what our future will be like, with my own futuristic thoughts appended:

  • Our brains will extend to the cloud, which will allow us to learn new things at any age.

    -You’ll have to pay to avoid product placement in your new memories.

  • We will be able to selectively erase pieces of our memory.

    “Do these jeans make me look fat?”
    -“Who are you?”

  • We’ll be in augmented reality at all times.

    -What kind of joint is this, man?

    -It’s a heavy-duty joint, man.

    -It looks like a toothpick, man.

    -No, it’s not a toothpick, man.

    -It is a toothpick, man.

    -No, man, it’s just…

    -It is a toothpick.

    (“Up In Smoke”)

  • By 2029, machines will be able to match the intelligence of humans, and they’ll be able to make us laugh and cry.

    -Each will be equipped with laughing gas/tear gas canisters.

  • Around the 2030s, tiny “nanobots” able to repair and preserve our organs will keep us healthier and smarter.

    -People will be standing in line all night to get the latest upgrades. Those who miss out will suffer from organ-tuning ‘bot envy.

  • 3D printing will be even more common than it is today, with public 3D printing stations for people to print out clothes, toys, and anything else.

    -Will add a whole new dimension to butt-scanning.

  • Within 25 years, computers will be the size of a blood cell and we’ll be able to connect it to the brain without the need for surgery.

    -We’ll need tiny tweezers to operate our smartphones.

  • Society will reach a state of “technological singularity” in 2045 where technology enables superhuman machine intelligences to emerge and people and machines become deeply integrated.

    -Become one with your smart TV!

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